now that school is over for the summer, i can finally relax and have time to myself. Time where i don't have to think about homework, assignments, what readings i have to do, determining what week it is for whether i have lab or a quiz, midterms, and thank good i don't even have to think about finals or marks. You have to enjoy and embrace the fact that for the time being the stress is off your back and you can finally breathe normally.....with panic attacks clearly out of sight. The need for caffine is even decreased; yes like many new first year university students i fell victim to the had to stay up late for assignments and midterms or quizes...etc. and now in order to stay awake in my next lecture and take the notes that i need cause i have no one to copy off of in the class (which can be a sad and lonely fact but entirely too true in some classes) i need caffine and i need it now, and no hot chocolate no longer works in that department, it use to give me that jolt of energy and chocolatety goodnes that was enough to keep me going if only for a little while, no longer....no i need my latte or my white chocolate moca or my text book will be my new pillow....and for those of you that have been in my position you will agree that textbooks don't really make that good a pillow. anyways yes i realize that i have begun to ramble.....well i would be lying if i said that it does not happen often, but i haven't "blogged" in a while so i get to ramble

So back to school being over, i get to hang out with my friends and my boyfriend of nine wonderful months....yes i am bragging of the longest relationship of my life..... and read the books i have wanted to, get working on my 101 list and watch a lot of tv and movies....for now life is good....i really wonder how long that will last though

this week is becoming my week of complete and total hell. I don't deal with stress well, something that many can easily agree to, but it isn't like i can help it especially when everything decides to happen at once, it is then when i wonder when i will burn out, or not be able to take it anymore. Here is what my schedule has been/ will be for the next couple of days.
Friday-Italian 100 midterm
Saturday- working
Monday- Chem midterm
Tuesday- Kinesiology midterm
- chem lab questions due at 11pm
- italian composition due
- more italian homework
- work
Wednesday- Kinesiology lab
- 4 hour chem lab -5:20
Thursday- Work


to some it isn't a lot but for me it is becoming more than i can take....
stay tuned to say if i have my sanity after all this.

Yes i am one of the many fans of heath ledger. But why shouldn't i be he was an amazing actor who wasn't afraid to take risks, try new things and grow as an actor; he was an example to us all. He took roles in films that many say that he shouldn't have because of the controversy.....but that is what made him brave and an amazing actor. Actors can be type casted so easily, and they always wonder if that is the extent of their acting ablities, but he never allowed himself to be typed casted or driven away from a role. That is made him an amazing actor and person in my eyes. I hate the media slashing his name when the cause of death isn't even known. I want to pay respects for this great actor, so RIP Heath you will be deeply missed by your family and fans.

Things never go how you expect them to, i guess that is why they call it life. But still for once i would like to be the one in the driver seat, i try and try to tack control of the wheel but it only seems that life has different plans for me. I won't go into details cause perhaps i am over exaggerating i mean i don't have a horrible life and not everything in my life goes wrong, but it does seem that when things are right and almost seem to be a perfect moment in time it seldom is. There is always moments of dispare, hate, and sadness that shadows over each moment; trying to make that happiness cosumed by darkness. Emotions are full of termoil and mine has it's fair share. For once i would like the driver's seat just to see what my hands could actually do without sway of others.....but i doubt that is ever possible.

Happy New Year everyone.
I hope everyone had an enjoyable new year and got to celebrate it in style like i did.
I hope that everyone has an enjopyable year full great experiances. i know i am looking forward to a lot of new things and adventures. Good luck everyone and here is hoping everyone has a great year.